NOSTALGIA IS A FUNNY THING

Submission by: Rhonda Chiger

I recently watched the movie The Fabelmans and immediately became nostalgic. As I watched the movie, I was transported back to a time that was certainly less automated than it is now; when kids would play stick ball in the street, girls jumped rope, boys played with GI Joe, and we knew it was time to come home when the street lights came on. A simpler time some might say. It was also a time when women primarily worked in the home and often gave up their career dreams to raise a family.

Steven Spielberg grew up in the 60s; I grew up in the 70s. While Steven Spielberg’s and my formative years were a decade apart, many of the themes of our childhood were the same. I could relate to the main character’s mother, Mitzi, who gave up a promising career as a pianist and would always regret it. Importantly, Spielberg worked hard and pursued the American Dream. His family had survived World War II and were determined to strive.

I think what really resonated with me was that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Many of the issues that consumed the 1960’s, still consume us today. The prejudices that existed back then have continued into the 21st Century. Organizations like Black Lives Matter may have replaced the Black Panthers, but the mandate remains the same: racial equality. Meanwhile, The Jewish Defense League founded in 1968 is still, unfortunately, relevant today; and the ERA movement for women in the 70’s has given way to organizations like Emily’s List which support women candidates. We have come a long way Baby…but we still have so much more to go.

As a child of the 70’s, I saw women begin to go into professions such as law and medicine in greater numbers. I have seen women on the Supreme Court, in NASA shuttles, and as world leaders. However, for us female baby boomers, there was still an expectation that while we went to college and may have had a career, it was still up to us to be the primary care giver to our children, the Head Chef at home, and Chief of Domestic Operations for the entire family.

I broke with tradition and climbed the career ladder to eventually owning my own business. My husband was and remains the family cook and I manage the finances. I took only eight weeks maternity leave and started traveling immediately upon my return to work. I did not breast feed. (I know, horrors!) It was the 2000’s, but I still got the strange looks, the “tsk tsk” comments, and a whole bunch of unwanted advice. I am happy to report that my son, now 13, is thriving, as is my marriage.

Which brings me back to Mitzi. In The Fabelmans, Mitzi waited until her first born went to college before she left the family to pursue the life she wanted. I think all of us have a bit of Mitzi in us. We have all made sacrifices, but as we age, are determined to set our own path. The baby boomer women are growing restless, but why did we have to wait so long?

Women of the Baby Boomer generation were literally the intersection of the Mrs. Cunningham’s of Happy Days and the Olivia Pope’s of the 2000’s. We straddled generational thinking and values, and often would walk a tight rope balancing priorities. One part of us stands with tradition and the other is blazing trails. It was a lengthy metamorphosis and I think we are finally on the other side. I’m not sure future generations will ever span such distinct standards.

Past generations always think they had it harder. I don’t think that is necessarily true. We are a product of our upbringing, environment, and the times we live in. Nostalgia is a funny thing. We tend to vividly remember the good while the bad is blurry. I clearly remember playing Jax on the porch with my friends, but my memory is vague when it comes to the stars in the windows of the houses where a family lost a loved one to the Vietnam War. Life is definitely more convenient than ever with machines automating many processes. But I must admit, I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up in any other decade, or maybe that’s just the nostalgia talking.